she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
