counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
