I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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