So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
