Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If I die, sorry about rent.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
