In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Rumble strips road head = magical
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
