unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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