Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
