It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
