Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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