i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
