Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
