HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
