I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
