I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
