Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
