in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
