my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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