this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
should my penis look like a turkey
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
