who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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