dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
