He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
