My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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