I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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