Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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