their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
