Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
third nipple confirmed
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
