some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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