is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
