Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
