you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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