After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Come share oat with me in your robe
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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