about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
