idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
