There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
