I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
