i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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