You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize