he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
