Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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