More tranny stories later!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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