Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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