Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize