I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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