I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
