I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
