I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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