ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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