If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
