The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
