p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
