the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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