I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
