so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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