And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
