I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
