He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she was so not down for the gang bang
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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