Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
