god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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