haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
