You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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