What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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