I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Drake has all the answers
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
