my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
