grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
