can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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