but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
