Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
