best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
