Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
