If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
