he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
