Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
