You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
